No, Ramana kitty did not return last night. However, it was a night filled with many remembered and meaningful dreams!
Today, Andrew has a surprise in store for us. After breakfast, we drive into Tiruvannamalai to participate in a darshan with Sri Siva Sakthi Ammaiyar, locally known as “Silent Maa” and revered as one of the humble living saints here. Fortunately for us, a friend of Andrew told him that she holds darshan on the day of a full moon.
Today, Andrew has a surprise in store for us. After breakfast, we drive into Tiruvannamalai to participate in a darshan with Sri Siva Sakthi Ammaiyar, locally known as “Silent Maa” and revered as one of the humble living saints here. Fortunately for us, a friend of Andrew told him that she holds darshan on the day of a full moon.
We arrive early to get a seat on a mat and sit quietly in mediation before she arrives. A hand-out at the entrance tells of a blessing she gave in March 2011:
"To experience 'inner peace', you should practice silence. The power of silence will take you to 'inner peace' and make you experience it. You should be well prepared and ready to experience the greatness of the 'inner peace'. Only through the practice of silence, the supreme power, inside the 'inner peace,' which is called Maha Lakshmi, can be experienced. No [sic] when you practice centering yourself in 'inner peace', you can experience the greatness of 'supreme compassionate light'. The 'supreme compassionate light' is the original form of Maha Lakshmi." |
Sri Siva Sakthi Ammaiyar photo from her website | The room in which darshan is held is rectangular with the two long walls on either side of the entrance. About midway down along the left side of the room is an arm chair. Across from the chair and along both short sides of the room are rows of mats — about 4 or 5 deep. Before arriving, Andrew told us to be sure to look Siva Sakthi in the eyes. With that bit of information, I sit quietly in silence across from her chair in the second row. My eyes closed, I quiet my mind so I may be fully present to the experience. At some point my eyes open and I see a very small woman dressed in white sitting in the chair opposite where I am seated. |
Siva Sakthi scans the room before standing up and moving to her left in alignment with those seated. I watch in utter fascination as she scans each person, using her wrists in almost undetectably small movements to “wind” what I "see" as heavy energies (hucha) to her. Energetically, I watch her digest and radiate back to them purified white light (unconditional love).
When she shifts position to the right she is standing before the section I am seated. I feel myself lightening as she draws energy out and tearing up as she radiates the energy of unconditional love back to me. There are no words to describe the sensations. Suffice it to say, a very old cellular memory was triggered. Creating a ceke or luminous thread to Sri Siva Sakthi, I half expect her to reject it. She doesn't. Through this ceke, she allows me “drink” more from her reservoir of unconditional love. An image comes into my mind of a baby suckling at their mother’s breast . . . as I was suckle directly from her heart center. [As I write this, even now when I close my eyes and focus my attention on that ceke, I feel myself filling up again with this exquisite quality of energy known in the Andes as kollana, experienced as unconditional love.
I have no idea how long I sat there with my eyes closed. What I do know is that when I finally got up to leave and walk outside, I had no words to share with others. In fact, it was hours later that some words finally formed. In the meantime, all I wanted to do was be alone . . . alone and quiet to savor the exquisite feeling of completeness I was experiencing . . . perhaps for the first time . . . or perhaps since I was an infant.
When she shifts position to the right she is standing before the section I am seated. I feel myself lightening as she draws energy out and tearing up as she radiates the energy of unconditional love back to me. There are no words to describe the sensations. Suffice it to say, a very old cellular memory was triggered. Creating a ceke or luminous thread to Sri Siva Sakthi, I half expect her to reject it. She doesn't. Through this ceke, she allows me “drink” more from her reservoir of unconditional love. An image comes into my mind of a baby suckling at their mother’s breast . . . as I was suckle directly from her heart center. [As I write this, even now when I close my eyes and focus my attention on that ceke, I feel myself filling up again with this exquisite quality of energy known in the Andes as kollana, experienced as unconditional love.
I have no idea how long I sat there with my eyes closed. What I do know is that when I finally got up to leave and walk outside, I had no words to share with others. In fact, it was hours later that some words finally formed. In the meantime, all I wanted to do was be alone . . . alone and quiet to savor the exquisite feeling of completeness I was experiencing . . . perhaps for the first time . . . or perhaps since I was an infant.
A little while later, while lying on a massage table at the Sparsa spa, I know in my heart that even though Sri Siva Sakthi was not part of our pilgrimage’s itinerary, she is the essential reason I was called to India through this trip. All of my spiritual healing work has been about growing and refining the quality of my relationships and engagements through love — kayao, payan, kollana. Now that I have experienced and been “seeded” with this higher frequency of love, my challenge is to grow, embody and use this kollana expression of energy to inform my relationships and engagements. Without a doubt, I am now fully baked and ready to return home.
After our spa treatments, Babe and I hire a tut-tut to go in search of an additional suitcase so she can bring back her collected treasures. From experience, I brought with me a medium-size duffle for that purpose. Our mission quickly accomplished, we return to Sparsa Resort and begin packing.
After our spa treatments, Babe and I hire a tut-tut to go in search of an additional suitcase so she can bring back her collected treasures. From experience, I brought with me a medium-size duffle for that purpose. Our mission quickly accomplished, we return to Sparsa Resort and begin packing.
This afternoon Andrew made time for us to visit with him one-on-one to ask remaining questions and give feedback about our pilgrimage. I, who was so full of questions at the start of this journey, have none. My time is spent sharing our experiences with Sri Siva Sakthi as well as to express my heartfelt gratitude and admiration for the architecture of this pilgrimage, which gave me a structure to develop another map of consciousness to overlay on those that have brought me to where I AM.
Packed for our return to Chennai tomorrow morning and dressed to celebrate our "Dance with Shiva", Babe and I head to Andrew’s room where vodka and gin are flowing. The energy is completely different than just a few hours ago — it is noisy and after almost two-weeks together the stories exchanged are wrapped in the intimacy of shared experiences. Nandi gifts us with red scarves to remember our time together. Andrew spiritedly belts out a Marlena Dietrich ballad. Before heading off to the dining room for our Farewell Dinner, Robin suggests we hold hands as she leads us through a closing ceremony during which we gift the person to our left with a word. The word given to me by Michael resonates perfectly.
This has truly been a remarkable trip — great respect for each other’s journey and drama-free!
Packed for our return to Chennai tomorrow morning and dressed to celebrate our "Dance with Shiva", Babe and I head to Andrew’s room where vodka and gin are flowing. The energy is completely different than just a few hours ago — it is noisy and after almost two-weeks together the stories exchanged are wrapped in the intimacy of shared experiences. Nandi gifts us with red scarves to remember our time together. Andrew spiritedly belts out a Marlena Dietrich ballad. Before heading off to the dining room for our Farewell Dinner, Robin suggests we hold hands as she leads us through a closing ceremony during which we gift the person to our left with a word. The word given to me by Michael resonates perfectly.
This has truly been a remarkable trip — great respect for each other’s journey and drama-free!
Photo: Courtesy of Carly