Much has happened since my last post . . . As Andrew predicted, re-entry back into Western Civilization was slow. Thankfully, I live a very self-directed life as it took two-weeks to reintegrate back into my California lifestyle. During that time, I left my property only three-times: to buy groceries, to meet friends for a pup walk, and to take a much needed yoga class. Instead, my craving for silence continued as the energy brought back from India slowly integrated deeper within. After three-weeks, I became engaged once again in community work.
 2.16.09 to 5.23.18 | In early April, my Boxer pup Peetie’s health began to decline requiring shorter walks at first, then pain medication. We “moved” downstairs to sleep as climbing the stairs caused him increased pain, shortness of breath and exhaustion. Together, we slept on the media room couch — often his 90 pound body on top of mine. As it was uncomfortable for him to settle down for more than a few hours at a time, we both got little sleep over the next month. After several more visits to our vet, it was recommended taking him to a veterinary cardiologist, who diagnosed Peetie with a tumor on the outside of his heart that had migrated into the interior. Nothing could be done but love him and keep him comfortable. |
On May 23, I made the decision, after a couple of incredibly rough days/nights, to end my sweet Peetie’s life so he could join his brother Simba chasing stardust. It was a humane, but incredibly sad decision. So now, for the first time in 30 years I am without at least one pup. Still, the Universe was not done speaking to me as literally hours after saying a final good-bye to my beloved Peetie, the air conditioning condenser in my sports car blew up, and was donated to charity.
| The following week, the bronze Ardhanarishvara sculpture — a composite of Shiva and Parvati— purchased in Tanjore arrived three months later than expected, after a strong letter from my credit card company. It is stunning and a powerful depiction of the animistic Andean principle of complementary opposites — along with another lesson in patience. Two-days later, I left for Montana to attend a board meeting of the Cinnabar Foundation and site visits with some of our conservation grantee partners. We met in the breathtakingly beautiful northwest corner of the state. |  |
Closer to home, political activism around immigration and environmental issues have heated up (as elsewhere). Some friends and I walked in the Fourth of July parade with a large “liberty bell” to remind our Valley neighbors and visitors that we subscribe to the principle that our country was founded on “liberty and justice for ALL.”
My desire for silence continues. I am continuing to learn from my “dance with Shiva.” It is a dance requiring more mindfulness, continuous refinement and balance. Sometimes it requires almost no perceptible movement and at others bold motions. The dance can be done in silence or not; in private or in a crowd of people. No matter my mood or time of day, this dance opens my heart and brings me to gratitude. I am like a detective uncovering its subtleties. Even my doing-ness has shifted in a way I can only describe as having more stillness and power at the heart of it all.
So to all — those who were on this Indian pilgrimage to “Dance with Shiva” and those who were not — I honor and bless you . . . tukumunayniyoq — “the all-encompassing power of unconditional love!”
My desire for silence continues. I am continuing to learn from my “dance with Shiva.” It is a dance requiring more mindfulness, continuous refinement and balance. Sometimes it requires almost no perceptible movement and at others bold motions. The dance can be done in silence or not; in private or in a crowd of people. No matter my mood or time of day, this dance opens my heart and brings me to gratitude. I am like a detective uncovering its subtleties. Even my doing-ness has shifted in a way I can only describe as having more stillness and power at the heart of it all.
So to all — those who were on this Indian pilgrimage to “Dance with Shiva” and those who were not — I honor and bless you . . . tukumunayniyoq — “the all-encompassing power of unconditional love!”
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